Ah, Dear Citizens, these are troubling times for fearless leader, Trump. After a very successful meeting with handler, Vlad Putin, "comrade" Trump returned home to slanderous accusations that the one-on-one meeting was a national security fiasco. In addition, left - wing snowflakes even complained that the soccer ball Putin gave Trump was somehow "bugged"; they will stop at nothing to smear the man "making America great again".
Also, fearless Trump has once again saved American farmers, his prized constituency (suckers) from the great tariff wars by bribing them with $12 BILLION DOLLARS since they are now unable to sell their soybeans, pig feet, and other disgusting pig parts to the Chinese. Many farmers complained that the money was "socialism" and they did not want it. I guess farm subsidies for not growing food, price supports, and other USDA programs are bad also but they take them, HMMM. The Chinese are actually buying these products from shithole countries like Brazil. In other news on the trade wars, the wimpy leader of the European Union came to the White House to discuss EU trade policy with Trump. The presentation was given on simplified color charts and diagrams which demonstrated, once again, how fearless leader likes to keep it simple. The administration's "zero tolerance" program has reached a successful conclusion with the return of 700 plus children to their law-breaking parents seeking asylum in the U.S. A good sign that the program is working private prison are profiting millions in taxpayer dollars. On the domestic front, Ohio representative and Trump supporter, Jim Jordan, is campaigning to become the next speaker. Jordan who is being sued for ignoring sexual assault complaints while coaching wrestling at Ohio State in the nineties has the full support of Trump and is leading an effort to impeach the traitor, deputy AG Rosenstein. Jordan promises to be a real standup guy as leader. And finally, the "witch hunt" continues with former Trump lawyer, Michael Cohen, smearing our leader with claims that he knew and authorized meetings with BFF Putin's representatives. Fearless leader, Trump, is confident that these claims will prove false even in the face of evidence that it is true; another case of your lying eyes deceiving you.
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"Making America Great Again" reached new heights this week when our fearless leader, Trump, met with the Russian Federation's esteemed leader Vlad Putin. The two hour meeting (actually, 90 minutes because Putin had to review the latest "golden shower" tapes again) resulted in a joint statement in which both leaders pledged to work together in destroying western democracies and supporting fascism worldwide.
Well, actually no one knows what they pledged to do since the meeting was one-on-one with no aides. However, Putin and his "asset" agreed that the Mueller investigation was harming US - Russia relations and that the US's intelligence community was totally wrong in blaming Russia for 2016 election meddling. The "useful idiot" even believes that it would be a good idea for Russian investigators to assist Mueller in investigating the twelve Russians indicted last Friday by the Mueller Team. The meeting in Finland was preceded by the NATO Summit where Trump (Putin's Bitch) once again had to persuade the freeloading member nations to pay their fair share. Trump explained how forty-seven percent of them never contribute and the US is tired of defending them. On the domestic front, the tariff wars are going well. However, some North Dakota snowflake farmers are crying over lost soybean contracts and pig export tariffs. As usual, the ungrateful suckers want to have their cake and eat it too. Also, there have been reports some crops are rotting in the fields because ICE has conducted raids leading to the deportation of many of the "drug mules" who were working in those fields. Alo the Texas shrimp industry is poised to lose one million dollars this year because of the "zero tolerance" policy. Stop whining!!! Finally, our "zero tolerance" immigration plan is suffering a few setbacks from some commie leaning judges who insist that our policy of child stealing is illegal. But the tide is turning in our favor as AG Sessions has added a new assistant AG who has a strong background in anti-immigrant policies. On this grand holiday it is only right that the progress in "making America great again" is updated.
SCOTUS: fearless leader Trump has interviewed seven candidates for the seat vacated by Anthony Kennedy and all signs point to him selecting a troglodyte to reverse Roe vs Wade, destroy the ACA, affirmative action, and maintain the court's affirmation of corporatocracy. On the political front, Senator Susan Collins of Maine continues her obfuscation about her vote being a possible swing against the nominee. Based on her history of being "pro-life", most observers figure she will fold as usual just as she did on the GOP Tax (scam) Bill . Precedence be damned! Immigration: three federal judges have ruled against Trump's humane program of kidnapping immigrant kids from their parents. Those commie pinkos have no idea the threat posed by these kids breaking into our country. The country is full, dammit! But on the positive side, private prisons are seeing a surge in stock prices due to our leader's brilliant domestic policies of "zero tolerance" and the revived "war on drugs". This will allow them to donate even more money to the GOP for the midterms. Hail to the leader! Foreign policy: fearless leader is preparing for the next NATO meeting with our chintzy allies who insist on raising tariffs on American products and not doing their fair share of building adequate defenses against imagined threats. Domestic policy: fearless leader has ended the discriminatory affirmative action policies of the last administration which favored the hordes of minorities admitted to our finest institutions. Long live the 1950's! Also, HUD has raised the rents on low-income housing dwellers who consistently waste their money on luxury cars, Iphones, and new clothes. Well, that sums up the great progress being made on this most patriotic of all holidays, enjoy the fireworks. Hello, good peeps. We are on a steady and exciting path to "making America great again" under fearless leader, Trump. A summit is set between Trump and his BFF, Putin, where I am sure Putin will give him "orders" on how to continue the amazing progress in alienating the G7 countries and offending all our allies.
Also concerning foreign affairs, U.S. intelligence has shown that North Korea under the leadership of our newest BFF, Kim Jong Un, is upgrading their nuclear research facilities while continuing on the path to denuclearization; another win for our illustrious deal-maker, Trump. On the matters of trade and tariffs, Trump has threaten higher tariffs on the cheaters in Europe and China who have been exploiting our generous trade policies. The commie, pinkos at Harley Davidson Motorcycle have decided to move some of their production to a shithole country to avoid EU tariffs. While on the domestic front, the trade and tariff policies proposed by Trump could result in the lost of 150,000 to 600,000 jobs in the U.S.; a small sacrifice in MAGA. In domestic politics, A. Kennedy has retired from the Supreme Court after helping to destroy public union rights, legalize gerrymandering in Texas, and uphold Trump's well disguised Muslim Ban. This week in "Making America Great Again" has been stupendous:
First, we have begun a zero tolerance program for preventing illegal immigrants ( "Animal" according of Trump) from entering the country. The administration now seizes their young children at the border and places them in internment camps("Tender Age" facilites) with facilities suspected/having a history of child sexual abuse while their parents are quickly deported back to Central America. The children have a good chance of never seeing their parents again and we have about 6,000 unaccounted for. The Office of Refugee Resettlement is working feverishly to improve their incompetence. Second, the GOP is hiding in their chambers to avoid all media questions about the kidnapping(or rather resettlement) program, but has promised they will produce legislation to solve the problem created by Trump's executive order which he claims is the Democrats' fault. Blonde racist, Ann Coulter, is upset that Trump might end the incarceration program which she believes is MAGA. While klansman, AG Sessions, is using the “Undesirable Aliens Act,” to justify the kidnappings. The statute would not exist without support from, respectively, a eugenicist and a white supremacist to legitimate the kidnappings. Great research, Sessions! Third, Trump, the pre-eminent deal-maker, continues to threaten China with more tariffs while he ignores the fact that China can begin selling back U.S. Treasuries further ballooning the GOP-caused deficit; or they can even stop buying them altogether. Fourth, Trump has ended all of Obama's protections of the coastal oceans so that now polluters can cause more Deepwater Horizons. He believes there is no way that we can limit oil company profits at the expense of poisoning the environment. Finally, Trump supporters have ridiculed the main stream media for its liberal bias in showing facilities where babies are being kept from their mothers. It proves once again that you can't believe your lying yes. Until next week, MAGA!!!! In our ongoing commentary on MAGA, there were some significant events to report.
First, there was the Trump-Kim Summit in Singapore where Trump declared that the murderous dictator of North Korea is loved by his people, the ones not dead or in slave camps. Then, he cancelled planned military exercises which have been conducted yearly for the past four decades. This poses significant risks to US allies in the region in light of the growing Chinese military posture but since the Chinese gave Trump $500 million, Trump believes it is a risk worth taking. Reports have come in that this cancellation was directed by Trump's master, Putin who still has those "Golden Shower" tapes. Second, the DOJ has stopped defending the Affordable Care Act against frivolous lawsuits meant to destroy the law. This was met with glee by the Republican Party members and their ignorant supporters who don't want the government's hands on their Social Security checks. As an aside, the GOP Congress is working diligently to reduce Medicare and SS benefits. Third, the Trump Administration is building tent cities on military bases to house the children taken from their mothers seeking asylum when they enter the US. AG Sessions has declared that the US no longer accepts refugees and all seekers will be considered illegal aliens. Finally, the US deficit has risen 66% over the same time period as last year thanks to the GOP-Trump tax cuts. Meanwhile Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner made an estimated $82 million while working as unpaid advisers to Trump. I guess that can be considered a plus since the country is too broke to pay them. America has a strange history concerning family values. In recent years, the Republican Party has worn that mantle like a choke chain about their necks. But when one takes a realistic look at what family values has meant in America one has to wonder which America they are talking about. A few historical examples serve to shed light on these dubious proclamations:
Now we have entered a new phase in which new immigrants and some refugee asylum seekers are having their children stolen from them by ICE agents. This horror is fully sanctioned by the Trump administration's John Kelly, chief of staff, and the Director of Homeland Security. This program is the result of the bigot in the White House statements about Mexican rapists, MS-13 gang, created in America, and racial profiling. Combining that with Trump and the GOP's goal of denying food stamps to working families, slashing the children' health insurance program (CHIP), and banning funding for women's healthcare one can only conclude that family values don't mean shit in America! This turned out to be an exciting week in Making America Great Again:
Where does America stand in its effort to be great? Our fearless leader and macho criminal, Donald J. Trump is working his little corrupt hands off to MAGA thru these fine accomplishments:
More updates at a later date as to how America is becoming greater and greater and .... Today, the Idiot that stupid and ignorant Americans elected to the presidency in 2016 ended the Iran Nuclear Deal. Its termination was based on the fool-in-charge claiming that the deal was weak and unverifiable. Bullshit, of course! But that does not matter to the nation's Idiot because the deal was concluded by a real president, Barack Obama.
Former President Obama has responded with this tweet statement: Barack Obama 2 hours ago There are few issues more important to the security of the United States than the potential spread of nuclear weapons, or the potential for even more destructive war in the Middle East. That’s why the United States negotiated the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) in the first place. The reality is clear. The JCPOA is working – that is a view shared by our European allies, independent experts, and the current U.S. Secretary of Defense. The JCPOA is in America’s intere...See More Which, of course, this statement reflects reality and the Idiot could care less because he was fulfilling a ridiculous campaign promise based on racism and ignorance to begin with. The deal was canned because it was done by Obama, period. The Idiot in the White House ended the deal that benefited America and its allies and the Americans who voted for this Idiot share the blame as well. |
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