The Republican Voter

Well, Republican voter you can celebrate a huge victory on Tuesday. You successfully handed control of the U.S> Senate to the party of terrorists, liars, climate deniers, thieves, and frauds  although you don't consider them to be that. Just think you have now given the obstructionist party the ability to completely block any meaningful legislation on infrastructure, rewriting the tax code, relieving student debt, aiding the socially and economically disadvantaged which is most of you, and generally moving the country in a positive direction. 

But we all know why you did elect such trolls as Cotton (Arkansas), Ernst (Iowa), and five other fools in red states because you hate the black man in the White House. You know the man who saved your unhealthy ass with Obamacare, has produced 10 million private sector jobs (you know the ones lost by the last Repub. Pres.), enabled the stock market to break record highs, lowered the unemployment rate to 5.9%, has ended the war in Iraq and is ending the one in Afghanistan. The black man who has championed equal rights for gays, equal wages and higher wages for your dumb-ass daughter/son who slaves as a waitress or clerk at a fast food joint and reads at a fourth grade level. You hate the Harvard-educated black man because he is an uppity Negro and you know he was born in Kenya and is secretly a Muslim. But the greatest crime of all is his white mother actually married an African betraying the great white race and you know deep down that he secretly longs to bed your slut daughter. 


But take heed Republican voter, I know that the people you just elected will appreciate your vote and work hard to sellout your interests to every corporate lobbyist and special interest group that knocks on their Senate door. And in the end while they are drinking and dining at the best Washington D.C. watering holes and laughing at the buffoons (you all) who elected them, you will feel good and righteous. You see they know that your racism and ignorance overrides any logical thinking and that you can always be counted on to vote against your own best interests; they just have to choose the right top: abortion, big government, gay rights, etc.