Turd News

As you settle down in your seats tonight to watch the latest installment of the GOP presidential debate clown-car, I thought I might review some highlights from this group that have occurred since the last fiasco. 

1.Chris Christie Nixes 1.6 Million New Voters by Vetoing Democracy Act. Of course Christie would veto such a measure because why on earth would a republican want to increase the voting pool the new voters might vote against republicans and forestall them from robbing the taxpayer.

2. Ben Carson Demands To See Obama’s College Records While Refusing To Release His Own. Well for a Uncle Tom like Carson that is not an outrageous request because he wants to make sure the racist whites remember he is one of them. 

3. Donald Trump: "Did you read about Starbucks? No more 'Merry Christmas' on Starbucks [cups]. I wouldn't buy [Starbucks] and, hey, I'm speaking against myself," Trump told Illinois supporters. "I have one of the most successful Starbucks in Trump Tower. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. Seriously. I don't care." Typical Trump pandering after all it beats having meaningful policies and ideas for benefiting the American people.  

4. Mr. Rubio is currently implicated in a federal criminal investigation for the misuse of Florida Republican Party credit cards during his time as Speaker. Specifically, the IRS is examining records to determining if Mr. Rubio and other party leaders personally benefitted from the credit card scheme. Legally, party credit cards can only be used for political activities, but Mr. Rubio and his staff charged many seemingly personal expenses on the cards including car repairs, and grocery purchases. Mr. Rubio’s chief of staff racked up thousands of dollars in expenses on behalf of Mr. Rubio on his card including dinners and a Rubio family trip to a Georgia resort.

Mr. Rubio also admitted he double-billed both the Republican Party and state taxpayers for eight flights totaling about $3,000 in 2007. Mr. Rubio promised to refund the party, because the trips were for official business, but had not as of April 20, 2010.

Update: Marco Rubio paid for a $5,000 week-long stay at the Venetian, a luxury hotel and casino in Las Vegas, with the Republican Party of Florida’s American Express card, according to records his campaign released on Saturday to Politico. Rubio subsequently paid 30% of the costs “to reflect the fact that part of his trip was personal.” The great non-working Senator from Florida has a pattern of living large off of other people's money and not paying his bills. Some people would call Rubio's behavior embezzlement but we all know that Rubio is just confused.

​5. Ted Cruz: Atheists Shouldn't Be President of the United States. Where do you start with this buffoon. When he not trying to repeal non-existent federal laws or shutting down the government, he is alerting/protecting America from the growing secular conspiracy to end Christianity. Pandering to America's stupid is Cruz's major political strategy.

​Good luck to you all while watching these clowns tonight demonstrate why America is the laughingstock of the  world.