Hello, glorious "repugnants", excuse me, Republicans. We have had a fabulous month since I last updated you. We have gotten our finest troll onto the Supreme Court which will guarantee that our corporate donors will reap huge benefits and profits from poisoning the environment, overcharging customers, underpaying workers and the other losers.
As you well know, we are approaching the midterm elections and the hateful demicrats are rigging elections, wholesale. Just last month they filed lawsuits to overturn our "patriotic" voter integrity laws(voter suppression) based on some flimsy excuse that it prevents people of color from voting. I don't remember that being illegal in our party platform.
We are moving forward on ending the oppressive regulations that have hamstrung our nuclear industry friends. Just last week I loosen the rules on setting radiation levels. Our donations from them have doubled as a result. Also, we have continued to abolish the tyrannical Obama rules on pollution, ocean drilling, and those pesky renewables.
In recent days, we have identified some more traitors to the cause. You all know who I am talking about the despicable, Taylor Swift, who has urged people to register and vote against us. TRAITOR!! It is all a grand conspiracy by the commie ME TOO movement.
The "fake news" libtard media recently published a smear article about my successful dealings in business and with the IRS. They actually implied that I am a tax cheat while everyone knows that I used my great brain to steal my money from the suckers.
In foreign affairs, our grand ally the Saudis have shown the world what to do with pesky journalists as opposed to the stuck-up Germans who continue to harass our right-wing friends protesting the Merkel dictatorship.
And finally, our, great legs, UN ambassador has resigned and I think Ivanka will be a great replacement; she is so knowledgeable about foreign affairs since she has been contracting with sweatshops all over Southeast Asia making her grand clothing lines.
Good bye good people and remember your neighbor might be a demicrat so watch him.
Comments to think about.